Some months ago I spent a lovely Sunday afternoon with some old friends the Ls and their two beautiful little daughters. The gin flowed and the sunday lunch was splendid…
so splendid in fact that lovely bestie C was moved to take this picture…. mmmmm the best sunday lunch I’ve had in aaages!
I took along a toy mouse and a toy bear that I’d made for the girlies and enjoyed watching them play and giggle :)
The family was just about to get an extension built including a new bedroom for their youngest, little H; and mum C asked if I could make a bird for little H to match the decor of her new bedroom….
and showed me this fabric that she’d picked for H’s room. It’s very cute :)
We agreed that the bird was a sort of mushroom colour and I said I’d give it a go.
Now, months down the line (there was snow on the ground that day!) the extension is finished but little H’s bird isn’t…. oh dear :(
But oh, how I have deliberated this bird!…. searching for mushroom coloured yarn, drawing sketches of possible ways to make it (in meetings at work when I should be listening not sketching…. but sketching does help me concentrate…. honest!) pondering and re-pondering the best way to get a good birdy shape.
In the meantime I’ve made lots of mice and cats and a robot…. and realised that I was putting off the crochet bird….. but I love a crochet challenge, the lion I made (for a special little boy) was a challenge…..
and the first robot, so why was this bird such a worry? And I realised that no-one knew that I was making the lion or the first robot, until they were finished, there was no expectation….. so I’ve been procrastinating over the crochet bird because of performance anxiety.
The Ls however are very good, old friends and wouldn’t have minded a bit if I turned up with a tangled mess :); maybe because they are such good, old friends I want the bird to be perfect, but talking to other people they said that they have experienced the same….. it’s one thing to create something in your own time, but another to be asked to create something quite specific…..
I will resist going into deliberating the creative process and work; but throughout this I’ve learned something important about making things for other people and for money; and that is to trust myself a bit more and enjoy the challenging stuff, because I do love a challenge and finding new ways of doing things; that’s how I learn and develop new skills.
And if things don’t work out I can just try again until they do….
A lovely thing to remember (from Positively Present on Pinterest)
And as it turns out the bird is going on ok….
…with a bit of artistic license :) ……..(I’ll let you know how he goes on)
So in future I’ll try to just bite the bullet and not be afraid of making mistakes.